But before I get into it, I just want to wish you all a very Happy New Year. Keep safe, drink lots of truth serum and don't be afraid to live, because as Tracey Moffatt so eloquently told my film class this year, "Make sure you don't forget to fuck up, kids".

Amen to that, sister.

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
Got a job! Yeehaw! Yes, it is true that I have been scabbing of Mistah Howard for years now. However, due to the current changes in the Higher Education Contribution Scheme, I have reconsidered my career as a professional student/pseudo-intellectual/general wankette and have opted for the dregs of part-time/casual employment to fund my enigmatic energy drink addiction (which, in turn keeps my grey matter functioning at University).

I also performed three songs via karaoke at the Victory in one night: 'I Will Survive', 'Summer of '69' and 'Love Shack'. I was pretty pissed during songs one and two and the threat of sobriety during 'Love Shack' was covered by the fact that everyone in the room was drunk and doing Keith Strickland impersonations. The best moments of the evening however, were had by a young man named Scott, who had the balls to sing Outkast's 'Hey Ya' to a room of semi-drunk patrons. Not only did Scott manage to get through the song alive, but he also had a line of lovely ladies (including myself) screaming, dancing and shakin', shakin', skakin' it like a Polaroid picture.

Another great moment was when my friend Bec's better half got up with his mate and performed a chilling rendition of Queen's 'Bohemian Rhapsody'. I'm sure people over in South Bank could hear hundreds of Vic patrons screaming 'Nothing really matters, anyone can see, nothing really matters… nothing really matters to me'.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
I'm 99.99% sure that I made a lame resolution like, 'I'll try to stress less' or something. Well, the good news is that I have managed to stress less (Satan is now very worried, as a cool artic wind just skipped across the fiery plains of hell). I told myself that since stress will most likely kill me in the end, that I may as well enjoy myself now. I had a shatload of fun this year and I vow to up the ante in 2005.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My cousin was due on Boxing Day and I am yet to hear any news of the birth, so I assume that she's about ready to burst.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No. No one died this year! Yay!

5. What countries did you visit?
I didn't visit any countries because I don't think the world is ready to cope with the wrath of my unleashing.

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
A car... and someone to sit in the passenger seat (awwww... SHUT UP!)

7. What day from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The day I saw T.I.S.M. Enough said really.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I finally got over my writer's block (i.e. I finally stopped giving in to habitual laziness and procrastination).

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not networking enough at Uni... and being a slackarse when it comes to returning phone 'calls'.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Only emotional illness... we're all a tad mad here... it's that nice, tingly sort of mad though.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Oooo... tough decision! How about: my Chuck Taylors, John Safran Verses God on DVD and The Nightmare Before Christmas on DVD.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Nad, for being a good little chicken and director. Good on ya for getting that job with the ABC... I'll be begging you for a gig sooner or later :-)

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Mistah Howard and Mistah Bush Jr, for winning their elections and for making all non-professional wanker/wankette's lives a misery.

14. Where did most of your money go?
On zee making of fillums... and the consumption of alcoholic beverages.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Being in the front row of a T.I.S.M. concert... So much naked man-flesh, good music and funky anti-liturgical dance moves for so little cost!

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
'My Ego' by Regurgitator.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder?
Much happier. I'm stemming off from my post-2003 self-induced epiphany (everyone else was having them, so I decided to give in to peer-pressure) by working towards stress reduction and a noticeable increase in 'funness'.

ii. thinner or fatter?
I don't really care because I am enjoying my Peter Jackson diet at the moment.

iii. richer or poorer?
Richer! Who would've thought that I'd EVER write that down for future reference in the spirit of honesty.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Networking... and returning phone calls to the opposite sex.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Creating complex mind games out of obscure occurrences.

20. How did you be spend Christmas?
I spent it near the water at Manly.

21. Did you fall in love in 2004?
Nope. But there could've been a work in progress if I didn't get slack and mess it up. I let another moment pass!

23. How many one-night stands?
Nought... zero... zilch... nada.

24. What was your favourite TV program?
John Safran Verses God, Outback Jack and Regency House Party.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nope.

26. What was the best book you read?
The Thompson Gunner by Nick Earls.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Progressive Christian Rock bands. Veeeeerrrry Interesting...

28. What did you want and get?
Chuck Taylors.

29. What did you want and not get?
The chance to direct in semester two.

30. What was your favourite film of this year?
Team America: World Police and Kill Bill Vol. 2

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Got drunk at the local watering hole... I felt older than I actually am.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably satisfying?
If the elections went the other way.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
Anni-wear.

34. What kept you sane?
Pay checks and the promise of audience appreciation.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Robbie Williams... hee... some things never change.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Take your pick. There are so many to name that I'd be in danger of becoming a political pundit.

37. Who did you miss?
A2A Angie, who disappeared some time back and told me recently via SMS that she's now engaged.

38. Who was the best new person(s) you met?
Nad, Cameraman for Hire and Ming Mong.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
Don't be afraid to fuck up. In fact, celebrate the fact that when you do, you actually attempted something new and simultaneously learnt something (with thanks to Ms Moffatt and the gaatekeeper [good luck with 'Blood Line']).

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
'If I stopped lying I’d just disappoint you'.