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| Shatloads of people I know are bitching about Eric Bana's proposed role as the next James Bond. Now I know this is only a rumour so far, thank jeebus. Yet, being the massive Bond fan girl that I am, I decided to go with a 'what if' scenario and wrote a possible opening for a scene of Bond 21, starring Mr Bana: INT. CASINO - NIGHT
BOND strolls commandingly towards the busy bar. Warm air streams from a hand-held fan, entangled seductively between the long fingers of REGINA GOODENPLENTY. Goodenplenty turns away from the game of Two-up before her, distracted by Bond's presence as he sidles up to the bar and addresses the BARMAN.
BOND: I'll 'ave a can of VB... un-shaken an' un-stirred... an' that bowl of nuts, mate.
The barman quickly grabs a bowl of beer nuts from the opposite end of the bar. Stylistically he slides the bowl along the polished bench until it rests parallel to the maroon-hue sleeve of Bond's attire. He then busies himself with Bond's beverage. Bond grabs a handful of beer nuts in one hand and shoves the lot into his gaping mouth. With his free hand, he carefully removes a customised stubby holder from a holster concealed within his dinner jacket and places it upon the bar in waiting. The barman returns, places the beer before Bond and cracks open the tab.
BOND: Cheers.
As the barman exits, Bond loads his stubby holder with the can of VB. Unbeknown to Bond, Goodenplenty slinks up to the bar and plants herself upon the stool beside Bond. She quickly orders a fluffy duck and glances sidewards at Bond, witnessing his nut-eating and beer-swilling prowess. Impulsively, she flicks her fan back, catching a lock of Bond's long, golden mane. Bond spins around to face Goodenplenty, his face twisted in annoyance and fist raised to biff. Reconsidering, Bond devours Goodenplenty's beauty with his eyes. He lowers his fist and cocks his head to the side arrogantly as he smiles at the top bird beside him.
GOODENPLENTY: I couldn't help but notice you from across the room Mr...
BOND:Me name's Bond... Poida Bond...
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