To women, men are like material possessions. Women don't necessarily need them, but that doesn't stop them from going shopping. The article, "Men and Women" has convinced experts that men need to change their attitudes if they want to keep up with the ever-changing needs of women. Men pay attention to the physical attributes of women. This has been the trend since the human race has figured out how to use their opposable thumbs. Considering this, men may find it a chore to change. The article in question re-enforces the belief that to have long-lasting, loving relationships, a man has to be comprised of more than money and muscle. Men must have the traits of a generous person, ambition and a stable, yet profitable, career.

In the great battle for world domination, men are sadly losing. To even the odds, men need to learn what it is that women expect from men in order to become willing to aid in the proliferation of the male line. Given the expectancy of the production of male children compared to female, it would be of benefit to create long-lasting relationships to even the chances of producing male offspring following a possible string of females.

If men don't change now, they are doomed to extinction, because they are the victims of a decaying Y-chromosome, laments Bryan Sykes, professor of human genetics at Oxford University. "One of the most tragic facts of life for men is that they are born with an in-built flaw," says Sykes. Men, who have one X and one Y-chromosome – rather than the two stronger X chromosomes of women – are vulnerable to the irreversible damage already caused to their Y-chromosome, which is constantly passed from father to son, unaltered.

As if that were not enough, according to Cate Devine, women are capable of successful reproduction of fatherless daughters, utilizing the nucleus of an egg and injecting it into another during the fertilisation process. Research from the International Consumer Support for Infertility Network knows that sperm can be injected into eggs. There is nothing to stop the nucleus from accepting a second egg instead of sperm from a male.

So it has been established that men won't be needed anymore for reproduction. What happened to sex for its enjoyment factor? Surely when most men have died out, women will have become so desperate from the lack of male - female intercourse that the lucky final few men will have died in the most desirable manner? Women will become promiscuous because they will have started to get a power trip from kicking the Y-Chromosome when it's down. According to Dr Judson, of London's Imperial College, until 1988, it was believed that men benefited – while women did not – from promiscuity when it came to the production of children. Unfortunately, it is now apparent that it is the other way around since the male sperm count needs sufficient time to replenish to produce healthier offspring instead of just spreading it around. Each time a man spreads his seed; he looses millions of precious sperm and slowly depletes the chances of men making it out alive. Each sperm is a martyr for the male way of life, which is blatantly obvious because only one of them fertilises the egg because the others refuse to stop and ask for directions.

If what Sykes predicts is in fact true, men are officially right up there with the Bilby and Sperm Whale in a long list of endangered species. You may laugh, but there won't be a chocolate phallic cast to raise money to save the male of the species during the Easter period, like those precious Bilbies. Nor will Greenpeace go without their lentils and couscous to hunger strike against the depleted sperm count. Men haven't got a ten-year conservation plan...all of the money was spent on Foxtel, Xbox and a year's worth of beer. No, men are a weak minority without the support of young activists, so they need to adopt a new way of attracting women. They need to be caring, sensitive and good-looking. It isn't hard to see why guys fitting such a description aren't around...it's because they already have their own boyfriends.

But cheer up, men can display these seemingly attractive qualities and still have foundational interests like watching cricket and women's beach volleyball on TV.

Welcome to the lifesaving notion of Metrosexualism.

Metrosexuals are not hermaphrodites, or people who like to have sex in trains. A Metrosexual, according to the New York Times, is Madison Avenue's buzzword for a straight, urban man who's in touch with his feminine side. This is evident in new, popular shows on television such as 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy', which are aimed at changing the stereotypical male into this Metrosexual type of man. The article goes on further to explain the Metrosexual role that a male needs to have, to score points and become more attractive to women. This may include being kind, generous and looking healthy. If a woman meets two men of similar integrity, kindness and interests, but one is stylish and the other has 'a mullet, crusty toes and bad BO', whom would she choose? And no, for the purpose of this exercise, she cannot see the size of their wallets.

Yes, she would naturally pick Mr-I-Am-Too-Sexy-For-My-Shirt-Plus-It-Is-So-Last-Season-Anyway. Wait a minute…stylish; emotional, attractive...doesn’t that sound familiar? It sounds like the sorrowful mating call of the now-extinct 'sensitive new-age guy' or SNAG. How come this sub-culture didn't penetrate the manipulative female psyche and prosper in this new world? According to Julie Macken, it's because the SNAG seemed somewhat unauthentic. But how could that be? Didn't they give women what they wanted? Women want security, beauty, stability and a nice man who likes to cry at the occasional beautiful sunset in between great sex and a high quality ala cart meal whipped together by the 'new-age guy'. Wrong. It appears that women think that all of the fuss and attention created by Man Ver. 2.0 is a waste of time, and is highly idealistic…not to mention false. An element of confidence was added to the broken bodies of former SNAGS, which in turn transformed into the mighty Metrosexual. Metrosexuals are everywhere. He is the guy that you pass in the office who becomes locked out because his hands are too lathered with ultra expensive moisturising products to be able to successfully grasp a door handle. They are also the guys that adjust their hair each time they pass any shiny object capable of picking up a semi-visible reflection. Metrosexuals attract women because they have made women believe that they have the same interests and value systems. They both in reality share and use the same material possessions and brands. Women may have figured out the stupidity and shallowness of the now unattractive macho male and also the seedy ulterior motives of the SNAG, but the Metrosexual, a hybrid of both sub-species, is the most successful group thus far.

So you may be concerned as to the wellbeing of SNAGS and machos in relation to the sudden influx of Metrosexual individuals. Rest assured, when women are done having their way with these Metrosexuals, resulting in an increase of births, men can't really lose. Female babies will grow up and want to marry, or at least promiscuously 'get it on' with as many Metrosexual men as possible. Likewise, male babies will become machos, then SNAGS and then trained in the secret Metrosexual arts in order to win the hearts of women back.

Gentlemen, today you will leave this meeting as confident members of a new sub-species. No longer will you have to live in fear of the so-called 'imminent' extinction of the Y-chromosome. We shall beat women at their own game by cunningly giving them what they want so that they realise that they need us for more than just carrying on the existence of the human species. And if all else fails, always remember that a woman's four favourite animals are a mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom, and an ass to pay for it all.