I love the fact that when people write on the Internet they are indeed nothing like they are in real life. It's true...because it all comes back to the whole deal with how people react with different 'audiences' and such.

The Internet is the best method for those who have a shy side to come out of their shell and to be bold (behind a monitor). For example, in real life I would never be really outgoing...it just isn't in my nature (sorry if I am letting anyone down here). However, on the Internet I feel a tad more confident about such dealings (although not as powerful as God must feel if he were holding a gun).

Actually, my Internet persona has gotten me into a pickle a few times, but those stories shall be saved for another day when I have surgically removed my fingers from my melting keyboard (it's currently over 31 degrees celcius here [or 87.8 F for those who don't have the agony of putting up with an Australian summer...I could make two minute noodles successfully from the water coming straight out of the tap when it's turned on COLD]).

Anyhoo, I'll stop bitching about the weather and get back to avoiding the subject at hand...

Another thing I like to do is to make up fake indentities in those chain emails that go around, or even in those shoddy profiles and MSN have. If I ever hear of another guy go on about his love of cars, or some smarmy chickie use another lyric from some pseudo-Christian 'rock' group banter that apparently 'somes up her approach to life' (namely along the lines of 'I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell' [actually, so many people I know use that little pearl that one of my friends uses the MSN display name "I know it's cliche...but I'm NOT crazy...just a little unwell"]) I will scream. Actually I'll probably just pity them and go back to playing Hearts or Chess or some shit.

Sometimes I get really lazy and use characters from books and such. In fact, one of my MSN profiles uses the character Tricia McMillan (Trillian) from 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'. Actually, I was so lazy with this profile that I used quotations directly from Douglas Adam's wonderful book...and no one seemed to notice.

From that day on I now receive emails from males (I am assuming that they are males) who are smitten with Trillian and want to make love to her in various nasty nasty ways (these are sometimes outlined in the profile-fowarded emails). Being the shy gal that I am, I usually delete these emails and feel the slight twang of disappointment. However, today I received an email which didn't contain MA 15+ content, so I was shocked as one can imagine:

Dear When I saw your picture I didn't think that I'll see that great beauty on net...I didn't believe that you are real...are you from our earth or from other planet?....is that real beauty?...you are very very beautiful...you are a sweet nice dream for who is looking for real beauty and real love...I hope that I could be your friend at least on net...please...add me...write me. And send me more of your pictures to be sure that you are real...and to give me happier and sweeter dreams. If you send me your pictures in your first reply may I write you a sweet poem and very long sweet message…up to you dear .thanks for all. With best regards. KH

Damn...if only I didn't cut my hair and get rid of my old 80's fringe.

* BTW, the woman in this picture is Sandra Dickinson, who played Trillian in the 1980's mini series of HHGttG.